Working through the hard stuff -dec 27, 2013

So, i have a lot of hard stuff to work through. i wonder why i am so overweight. i wonder why i am not succeeding (in my mind) in my business. why do i feel like i'm not enough. not enough to whom? for what?
my parents? my husband? my daughters?
where do i think i fail them? why are the others thoughts so imporant to me?

where did i learn that one is "less of a person" if they are fat? or financially not successful? where does that come from and why do i have to suffer with other people's issues?

now they are my issues.

i know i have such a good heart. i gossip too much but i don't wish ill will on anyone. even when my dad disowned me, i didn't wish him ill will. yet, i feel like all my failures are him haunting me that i can never be thin enough or financially stable. that i need him to get me there. fuck no, i don't need him, but what am i missing that i am still not moving forward the way i want to. it really hurts inside. that is for sure.

day 3 - november 6, 2013

so, happy to say 2 more lbs of water - gone.


now it's wednesday and i haven't planned my meals as well as i have the other days. i have, however, had a houseful of toll house cookies and i haven't had one. not a morsel - which is huge for me. proud of that.

i'm hoping this weekend to look at some recipes and come up with some better and new ideas. make some quinoa for the week. try some of those recipes i sent you...i really want to learn more about sugar and wheat and all their other names.

in the meantime, it's time for some breakfast....

day 2 - nov 5, 2013

so, i survived the first day. i minor headache. i was clean. no sugar. no process (though unsure of white rice), no wheat...i did what i set out to do. YAY.

i lost 2.5 lbs of water weight.
i feel good about things.

saw my therapist this morning. we did some art projects. they really have me thinking. my biggest take away is how to be kind to me. it's so easy to be kind ot others, how do i do it to me. these sessions with jodi are getting harder and harder. what to do, what to do. i can't get believe how much baggage i have.

ok, interview coming.
must go.

xo

Day 1 - November 4,2013

So, today is the day I've decided to make some changes.

with the help of mind, body, green i've recommitted to a life with no sugar, processed food, wheat and more. but you have to start somewhere. today i weighed in at 100 lbs heavier than my wedding day. ICK. i took before pictures. more ICK.  i even ate breakfast at home. and, brought a lunch and snacks to work. healthy snacks. i feel good about the plan.

so, today's goals...no sugar. no process.
i'm off to a good start. but it's only 1030. ;)

along the lines of the mind body green article i'm going use the next two weeks to "give up" the sugar/wheat/process foods. i already don't use process sweetner and i think that junk/process foods fall into the category of sugar.

journal entries i'm thinking of this week...and planning to use this as a learning tool for me.

other names for sugar
other names for wheat

vegetaraian meal ideas

juicing or smoothies
how to get in more vegetables