So, i have a lot of hard stuff to work through. i wonder why i am so overweight. i wonder why i am not succeeding (in my mind) in my business. why do i feel like i'm not enough. not enough to whom? for what?
my parents? my husband? my daughters?
where do i think i fail them? why are the others thoughts so imporant to me?
where did i learn that one is "less of a person" if they are fat? or financially not successful? where does that come from and why do i have to suffer with other people's issues?
now they are my issues.
i know i have such a good heart. i gossip too much but i don't wish ill will on anyone. even when my dad disowned me, i didn't wish him ill will. yet, i feel like all my failures are him haunting me that i can never be thin enough or financially stable. that i need him to get me there. fuck no, i don't need him, but what am i missing that i am still not moving forward the way i want to. it really hurts inside. that is for sure.
